THE WORD OF THE PAGE
Jack and the Beanstalk
When you hear ‘copper’ I’ll bet you think of the copper that is a metal—the stuff they make pennies out of, but it can mean other things too. A ‘copper’ is also a policeman, but Jack would have a hard time hiding in a policeman. Or, it can refer to a coin or token, something you might use to play video games at the fair. But Jack would have hard time hiding in a coin. So what does Jack hide in? I’ll give you a hint. If the ogre found Jack in the copper all he would have to do is put the copper on the stove, add some water, salt and pepper and then cook Jack up for dinner. That’s right. A copper in Jack and the Beanstalk is a big, cooking pot made out of copper. I hope that ogre doesn’t like hamster soup. I’m outta here!
When I was a wee little hamster me Mummy used to call me, ‘Hammy.’ I’d say ‘Mummy?’ She’d say, ‘Hammy?’ Mummy? Hammy? Mummy? Hammy? Anyway, let’s talk about ‘paltry.’ It’s an adjective, that is, it describes a noun. When Jack’s mom said, ‘paltry beans’, she meant those beans were wooorthlesssss. They had no value. No one would even pay a penny for them. They were useless, they were anything but magic beans which is why she tossed them out the window. Boy, was she wrrrrong!
Run, run, run or pelter, pelter, pelter? I’m going to pelter! I like stomping my feet as I run because I like making lots of noise, so off I pelter as fast as I can. Can you pelter? Try it. First, you have to run, but then you kind of slap your feet on the ground as you do it—you can’t pelter quietly—so you should probably pelter outside unless you want your Dad to yell, “Stop peltering in the house!!” So go outside to pelter around the yard, but if it’s summer time you might swelter when you pelter. Say that fast. Swelter. Pelter. Swelter. Pelter. Swelter. Pelter!
Ahem. Okay, I’m going to try a poem. So get yourself ready! Herrrre we go:
I am the hamster Master Rogue,
A ‘worthless rodent’ I am called,
Along with ‘beggar’ and ‘Swindler Hoag.’
I steal and trick—so be appalled,
I’m not slowed by any drogue*,
So be careful or by me be mauled.
To be mischevious is in vogue,
Though it doesn’t help I’m going bald.
Have you ever seen a bald hamster?
It’s terrible—wait—that doesn’t rhyme!
Ahhh, rogue, bogue, ahhh, mogue—
Oh forget it! I quit! It’s over, I admit!
I can’t rhyme a bit! I’ve lost my wit!
I’m such a twit—a rogue too—
Has this made sense to you?”
*a parachute used to decelerate an object that is moving rapidly