The Odyssey for Kids

[whispering] I’m supposed to tell you the story of The Iliad. It’s a loooooong, loooooong Greek poem. It’s the story of what happens before The Odyssey, before Odysseus goes on his long journey back to his wife and son at Ithaca. It’s the story of the war at Troy between the Greeks and the Trojans. I don’t know the story very well so I just decided to travel into the book. Mr. Draeger has a time machine, The H. G. Wells, that can do that so that’s what I did.

[still whispering] Anyway, I’m at a meeting of god and goddesses, that’s why I’m whispering. The gods have asked Paris, the son of the King of Troy, to decide who is the most beautiful of the three goddesses Athena, Hera and Aphrodite. He has an apple in his hand—he’ll give it to the goddess he chooses. It’s a tough choice. These women are gorrrrrrgeous—I mean, if you’re a man, for my taste they don’t have enough fur and absolutely no whiskers. But you should see them! Paris is looking them over. Wait, wait, I can hear Aphrodite saying something to Paris. Oh my gosh! She just told him if he chooses her she will give him the most beautiful woman in the world to be his wife. Look! He just handed her the apple.

Well, it’s a few days later and I’m in Mr. Draeger’s time machine, The H. G. Wells. Aphrodite helped Paris convince Helen, the wife of King Menelaus, to leave her husband to go back with him to Troy. Helen is the most beautiful woman in the world. Well, King Menelaus was not happy about this—in fact, he was so angry he asked his brother Agamemnon, the great warrior Achilles, Odysseus and others to help him get Helen back. The Greek armies traveled to Troy from Greece and that’s where I’m headed. The H. G. looks like a big granite rock so I’m going to land in the Greek camp just outside of Troy.

[whispering] Hello again. I’m inside the Greek camp and there has been some trouble. When the Greeks arrived they attacked some Trojan cities and captured two women. Agamemnon took Chryseis and Achilles took Briseis. This made Apollo, the god of poetry, music and prophecies angry—these gods are always getting angry—man, I’m glad I’m a hamster. Anyway, Chryseis is the daughter of a priest, Chryses, who serves Apollo. Well, he asked Apollo to make Agamemnon give Chryseis back. Agamemnon gave her back (never argue with a god), but since he’s the leader of the Greek army his heralds are right here in front of me asking Achilles—wait—no—they’re ordering Achilles to give them Breseis. Achilles doesn’t want to, but Agamemnon is in charge of the entire Greek army. Now the heralds are leaving—with Breseis. Wait, wait Achilles is yelling. He just told them to tell Agamemnon that he and his men are not going to fight. This is a terrible blow to the Greek army. Achilles is the greatest fighter the Greeks have.

[yelling over the sounds on a battlefield] Hello. I’m on the battlefield. Hector is Troy’s greatest warrior and the brother of Paris. Hector thinks his brother is a coward, so Paris agreed to fight Menelaus one-on-one and nearly got himself killed. Only the help of Aphrodite saved him. The fighting has been going on for days and weeks and months and years. Hector went back to see his wife, Adromache and his son, Astyanax, but then it was back to war, war, war. Man, I’m glad I’m a hamster. Hector is fighting the great warrior Ajax right here—whoa!—I almost got stepped on—anyway, they’re fighting, it looks like Hector is losing—wait—wait—all of sudden it’s getting dark, but it’s only one o’clock. The gods have shortened the day. Now the generals are agreeing to a truce so they can bury their dead. Frankly, I don’t know why they don’t just agree to truce period. Hey! You bunch of bloodthirsty warriors why—it no use—they can’t hear me.

[yelling over the sounds on a battlefield] I’m on the battlefield again. Hector and his armies almost defeated the Greeks. When Petroclus, Achilles’ closest friend, saw all the wounded he asked Achilles for his armour so he could go out and fight. And fight he did! He killed lots of people including Sarpedon, Zeus’s son. But then he met Hector and Hector killed him. Well, as you might expect this made Achilles very sad and angry. Hephaestus, the god of fire and metalworking, made Achilles some new armour. Achilles was still very angry about his friend’s death. That’s not good, let me tell you. Man, I’m glad a hamster. I’m watching Achilles right now. No one can stop him. He’s killing dozens and dozens of Trojan warriors. Here comes Hector—the greatest warrior of the Trojans is going to meet the greatest warrior of the Greeks. They’re swords are clashing, they’re circling one another—Hector looks afraid—they’re swords are clashing again—Ohhhhhhh! Hector is down. He’s dead. I don’t believe it. Achilles is tying his leg to his chariot. Now he’s dragging the body around the city of Troy. It’s terrible, just terrible.

[whispering] It’s a few days later. Achilles is still very sad. I’m at his camp. He’s burning Petroclus’ body on a funeral pyre (along with 12 Trojans, I told you it wasn’t a good idea to make him angry). I don’t believe this! Hector’s father, Priam, just arrived. He’s asking Achilles for the body of his son. Achilles is agreeing to give him the body of Hector. They’re taking the body back to Troy.

[yelling] Hello! I’m inside Troy. The Iliad is really over, but that’s not where the story ends. Odysseus devised a plan and the Greeks built a giant wooden horse. Then they pretended to leave. The Trojans saw the horse and decided, after some arguing, to take it back to Troy. Then in the middle of the night the Greek soldiers inside opened the secret door, signaled the Greeks who did not really leave and right now they’re destroying the city. Some of the Trojans are escaping but the city is burning to the ground. More war, more fighting, more death—man I’m glad I’m a hamster.

Well, I’m back. That was some trip. For World Literature Tonight this is Sniffy the Hamster signing off. Gooooooood night!